THE VICTORY FROM PAIN

I have low tolerance when it comes to physical pain. When I was young, my family would often worry about me getting hurt as they have seen me lose my consciousness a lot of times due to simple wounds and cuts. There was also one time I had seizures, passed out and later on gone back to being conscious ALONE at home. The maid was there but she did not bother check on me in my room the whole day. When I woke up, I felt like my soul was getting off me. I got scared that I cried so hard when everything turned normal.

This is one part of me that not everybody knows. Probably because I am always showing off my strong personality and being brave is what I portray. With all those extreme adventures (and sports) that I love doing, who would ever thought that there is weakness that lies in me?

One day, impulsively, I decided to get inked. This design was suggested by my good friend, Benj, who is a "walking sketch pad" coz they often tell me I'm such an emo so this line would reflect my personality.

I got inked a few days after Dr. Doom and I broke up but that doesn't mean he was the sole reason why I did this (okay, I'm being defensive, I know). It was because of several things:

1. I have long been wanting to get one, it was just not easy when you have a doctor boyfriend (he didn't impose it tho, it was my decision not to do it when we were still together);
2. Out of curiosity, I wanted to find out if the process is really painful (actually, it was, at first.. followed by numbness after a few strokes);
3. As they say, "conquer your fears" and it felt so good. I was too scared at first that my friends told me I was so pale when we were heading toward the artist's shop;
4. I may lack physical strength, but it's always been easy for me to bear emotional pain. I wanted it reflected through this tattoo, hence, "Victory favours those who take pain."

It's been a year. It's my tattoo's 1st birthday.

It's been a year as well since my last ultimate heartbreak and this tattoo tells me how courageous this woman can get. This beautiful scar on my back never fails to remind me that it takes a certain dose of pain for you find your way to happiness.

I may haven't found my bliss yet. But I am hopeful that it'll come soon. Now that I am better, I think there is no reason for me not to get there in time. :)

HOME SWEET HOME

To start with, I'd like to explain about my being MIA the past few weeks. Apart from being swamped with work, my friends and I spent our free time wandering around Singapore looking for a flat.

When I first came here to work three months ago, I lived with my friend as a bedspacer in an old condominium unit somewhere in Geylang (Singapore's red light district). Our place is surrounded by motels, alleys are literally occupied by prostitutes having negotiations with their customers. But the community isn't as bad as the red light districts of Manila. Even if it is considered as "dirty", it is still safe. Even if I roam around in my short pants and skirts, nobody would dare touch me as they are afraid to be apprehended by the cops. Mind you, there are legal and "licensed" prostitutes here.

The place in Geylang has been a home for me for the past few months. It is a convenient area for me to live in as it's just a bus ride away from my office (I work in Bugis) so the not-so-morning person me didn't have to wake up so early just to make it to work on time.

But there was a lack of comfort whenever I am at home. For someone like me who used to live alone in Manila, it was difficult for me to live in a small room that I had to share with three other people. I also don't like the idea of sharing a bathroom with people from other rooms. I even had to get used to wearing the same outfit almost every other week coz I have no enough clothes yet here, they won't fit in a small cabinet in our Geylang home. Can you imagine the hardship (yes, that is the perfect term for me.. haha!) that I had to endure just to survive here in Singapore? :D

Fast forward 3 months later, we found a new home.

Finding a unit wasn't easy. We went house hunting for a couple of days. Prior to the actual viewing, we spent time online looking for agents who can help us find a place (Trivia: Here in SG, you need an agent/broker to introduce you to unit owners; Agents are the ones who negotiate with the owners on the tenants' behalf. Of course, you will pay them a whopping amount if you get the unit -- equivalent to 1month rent for 2yr lease and half a month rent for 1yr lease).

At first it was kinda disappointing. It was like -- The location is good coz it's accessible, but the unit isn't big enough. You love the interior, but the area is too far. You like everything, but it's out of your budget. It's like finding a mate, you think you can't have it all. But then again... we found it... after a few days of sweat, weary feet and little arguments with housemates. It is a condo unit along Mandalay Road (main road is Balestier, also a bus ride away from my workplace.. LUCKY ME. :D )

Here, let me "take" you into our new home. :)

Wanna know how much? It's effing SGD3,400 per month (plus Public Utility Bills). Mapapamura ka sa mahal noh? :D