I started going out again and meeting a lot of guys as soon as DD and I broke up. But nothing serious came out of those night outs. Sure, I met a couple of men but none of them has kindled my quiescent soul. People are right, don't rush. If it's not meant for you, whatever you do.. it's not gonna happen.
I met a few guys. Most of them were too strong for my taste. Those who have the same personality as mine. And whoever said that like poles repel might be right, coz I didn't get to be with any of those men. I want someone who will complement all my flaws. I want someone who will take me as I am. I want someone who's patient enough to bear with my weaknesses and shortcomings.
I grew tired of it. I almost gave up. I told myself that it ain't gonna happen soon, whatever it is that I've been praying for so long.
And then suddenly, my heart rose from the dead.
Then they were in front of me. Yes, THEY.
I almost fell in love with someone who I have known for a long time now. ALMOST. But not really. I don't know. Or perhaps my mind's too busy to manipulate my heart that's why getting romantically involved didn't happen. But just recently, he started showing interest once again. I don't know, I'm too vulnerable at the moment that I don't wanna entertain him anymore. But the friendship's still there.. something that will stay forever.
And the other one's the person who has the power to change all my views in life. I'm perplexed. I don't know if I'm beginning to fall for this person.
It's so unfair. I never liked it in the first place.
I never liked him. He was never my type. It didn't even occur to me that he'd play a role in my life coz all I know is that I DON'T LIKE HIM yet why am I writing this?
Never a day goes by that I don't think of him.
I miss him. I miss his company even if we never had the chance to spend much time with each other.
I miss how he calls me "Baby". I miss how he teases me everytime I let him know that I miss him. I miss how control freak he is. I miss how he loses his voice whenever he tries to speak to me. I miss how he almost loses his common sense and sanity whenever we talk.
I miss how he held my hand several times he was driving his car.
I miss the way I kissed him goodbye during that time when I had to say... well, goodbye.
I miss him.
And why am I acting this way?
Is this LOVE?