I never believed in
long distance relationship or LDR, as what we call it. Remember that
entry I wrote about a wedding that my friends and I coordinated? It was a wedding born out of a long distance relationship. But that event didn't change my perspective on LDRs.
Even this movie that I saw a few days ago with my bestfriends wasn't successful in altering my thoughts on this kind of relationship (though when we came inside the cinema,
Che kept on teasing me about it coz she knows that I am not a believer of LDRs, aside from the fact that I had several "suitors" who are miles away from me). The movie is entitled
"Going the Distance" starring
Drew Barrymore and
Justin Long.
Erin (Drew Barrymore) is an intern at a newspaper in New York while
Garrett (Justin Long) works for a recording/music company, also in New York. Garrett met Erin at the bar he frequents with his friends after he was dumped by his girlfriend. They ended up spending the night together, having breakfast the morning after and eventually spending the days with each other until Erin goes back to San Francisco. Erin is in New York only for the summer so they had this no-strings attached "relationship". Before Erin left, they realized that what they had was something deeper --
LOVE. Eventually it evolved into a more serious relationship, and that's when their long distance relationship started.
You know why I would never (as much as possible) want to be in a long distance love affair? (some were depicted in the film as well)
First, I suppose time spent together is a factor in getting to know one another. It would take time to really fall in love with a person (that's why I never believed in love at first sight as well) and if you're apart from each other, how would you know your significant other well? Loving means accepting even the worst in your partner. I think when you are apart, the natural self won't come out often, it would always be the best foot forward.
Second, trust is a big issue. How the hell would you know if your partner is telling everything to you? You don't see him/her. Yes, being together doesn't guarantee faithfulness and loyalty, but what more if you're apart? Of course, there will always be occasional lying and fabrication of stories.
Third, missing somebody is just as tormenting as hell. I wouldn't tell you I'd be a good girl in case I'm gonna commit with a guy who's at the other side of the globe. It's just hard. Everyday would be a struggle to be good. I don't trust myself that much. Hahahah! (at least I'm honest) :D
Fourth, when you fight it won't be easy to kiss and make up. I know some couples who fought, didn't have the chance to properly talk about the issue and eventually broke up. When you're together (or at least live near each other) it is a lot easier to think of ways to resolve your differences.
Fifth, I cannot easily give up my life for someone. All the more when I am enjoying where I am. Just like in this film, I liked it when
Garrett talked to
Erin about her plans of relocating to
New York to be with him. I loved it when he said that she should not decline the job offer from the newspaper company in San Francisco (coz she just finished her degree and needed to establish her career first) just because she wanted to live with him and make their relationship work. It was a selfless act, indeed.
There are still other reasons why I don't want to be in a long distance relationships that I can't seem to put into words but these are the most significant ones for me.
Anyway, it will always be a case to case basis. For some LDR works, while for other people it just doesn't. Garrett and Erin's LDR worked in the end. Of course, it's a chick flick. And chick flicks always aim to make us believe in happily ever after no matter how hard the situation of the protagonists was at the start.
In my case, I don't know yet. I have never been in a long distance relationship. Perhaps, it's just like a ghost for me -- I won't believe in it until I see it.
Just my two cents. :)
