The last time I celebrated Christmas with a significant other was two years ago, with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It wasn't even a "celebration" as we were never really together during special occasions. The reasons, of course, were already stated in some of my poignant entries here.

Since I am unaccustomed to having someone special on Christmas, everything that Nace did really pleased me. Perhaps, "pleased" is an understatement. Everything made me smile... and happy. :)

For a couple of days now he's been telling me he would be very busy this coming holiday season. He would go on duty (24-36 hours) every other day. Three days before Christmas, while I thought he was on duty, he called me up though I was working. I usually put my phone on silent mode whenever I am at work, but that day I wasn't able to do it. When I answered the phone, he just asked me if I'm busy. I told him I'm not that busy then he said he's at the lobby of the building where I work. I didn't believe him at first because I really thought he was at the hospital. But he sounded so serious.

When I saw him at a coffee shop by the lobby, he was in his casual outfit. That's when I realized he didn't go to the hospital. I wondered why he went to my office (fyi, it was the first time that he went there). He even drove from QC all the way to Ortigas despite heavy traffic caused by the season.

"Bigay ko lang gift ko for you before ako makulong sa hospital. Para just in time for Christmas. I love you." :) (then handed me a bulky paper bag which I initially thought contained a stuffed toy -- had it been a toy, I swear I'm gonna hit him on the face :D ) Upstairs, I opened the bag and his gift is this...

A few weeks ago he asked me what I want for Christmas, he even told me "Nahihirapan na ako hanapan ka ng gift parang lahat meron ka na. What gadget do you need pa?".. I just told him I don't need anything at all. So I thought he won't give me anything for Christmas. But of course, I was wrong. :)

I was very touched not because he gave me a material gift (kahit ako until now wala pa gift sa kanya :D). I was impressed because I realized that he always listens to my nonsense stories. I remember one time we met up at his gig, I was late because I came from the mall. I was looking for a camera bag, something small and handy enough for a day/night out since my camera bag is so big I am not comfortable bringing it to parties. But it was a futile attempt as that bag was nowhere to find in Robinsons. Of course, my search for that thing was part of our small talks that night. I thought he wasn't listening.. hehehe. It touched me that he exerts effort, he finds time... He doesn't usually go to the malls but he did, just to find that small thing that would protect my "baby" :) Also, I know that he's not that knowledgeable when it comes to gadgets and cameras so I know he really exerted effort to know what he was supposed to get. :)

His remarkable behavior didn't stop there. I already anticipated not seeing him on Christmas eve because he had tight schedule. Also, I know that Christmas is for the family. We have already agreed that it's gonna be for our respected families. I'm fine with it, anyway. :)

A few hours before the Noche Buena, he called me up and asked if I can join him for merienda. I obliged, not because I was famished.. but because I wanted to see him before he goes home to Rizal, his folks' home. We had our own version of Noche Buena in a Chicken slash Chinese resto in Ortigas (pramis, what we ordered for were good for 4 persons.. haha!) then accompanied me to do some grocery shopping (I am not used to having a guy come with me to shop). He was very patient. He endured the "pain" of following me all throughout my grocery adventure. :)

Sorry, I wasn't able to take pictures of our time together.. mejo hindi pa ako sanay kase. Hehehe. :D

It's never really the material things that made me happy on this day. It's the bliss that each moment brings whenever we are together. It's his every action that sweeps me off my feet. :)

I'm glad it was a Merry Christmas after all. :)


In life as in dance: Grace glides on blistered feet

I've got a pair of elegant stilettos a few months back,
but they just let me fall.
It was a disgrace to slip, it took me an ounce of energy to get up.
They harm not just my feet.. but also a portion of my legs.
And so I got back to walking barefoot...
a bit gloomy but it was an awesome journey.
Walking bare made my feet more robust than ever.
Sounds absurd, but it did.
I've got a lot of wounds, a couple of slash but they're all worth it.
My feet felt good afterward, even exfoliated and now they kinda look pristine.
Ironic perhaps, but those lesions made them unsoiled.
While wandering uncovered I saw a pair of flip-flops,
a little bit pricey compared to my old pair of slippers...
but they caught my eye in an instant.
I liked their distinctiveness, I liked it that they're one of a kind.
My feet looked good wearing them, all the more whenever I am at the beach..
a place where I can truly relax, my favorite place of contemplation..
I love the idea of bringing them to parties yet they won't clash with my outfit.
I feel comfortable, it feels cozy..
I love how they let me be carefree.
There's just one thing that makes me wonder about...
I haven't brought them to cocktails as I feel like they would look inappropriate..
but who knows.. soon I might start a trend.
I just hope nobody would oppose...
after all, I am genuinely in BLISS. :)


She said I tried to mind my own business
But that sad look on your face was a challenge to my faith 
Made me wanna chase the dark out of your room 
So she smiled and said hello; little did she know 
He would take hold of her soul and never never never let go
He was fine before he met her 
Eyes like faded jeans, soft and blue and he had seen 
Everything, and he had been everywhere 
Til he turned his gaze her way, longed to see it every day
Heard a voice inside him say you'll never never never be the same
Once in a while
Once in a blue moon
There comes somebody like you
They got fire and they got fever 
He was more than fine; she was more than young
And the orange setting sun was beautiful
Ever so at ease, in the summer evening breeze
They would talk and they would tease
And never never never want to leave
Once in a while
Once in a blue moon
There comes somebody
There comes somebody like you

-- Edie Brickell


I first took a glimpse of him last year when my good friend joined a contest on TV, he was also one of the finalists. They were 5. It was a stand up comedy contest that my friend is very passionate about.

As a friend, I exerted so much effort to support him all the way – including watching the finals in one of the busy districts in Metro Manila. My friend, an effortless comedian, got big laughs and applause for what he did on stage – making fun of himself and appearing like a complete idiot. Then there goes another man, they say he’s a doctor. I didn’t care a bit. To hell with that, I didn’t buy his jokes. They were pretty much horrible to my ears as he was speaking from a medical practitioner’s point of view. I love green jokes but not that green.. not that coarse. I was never part of his crowd. Everytime he would crack a joke I’d just talk to my friends, sometimes almost falling asleep. I wasn’t interested at all. But something crossed my mind at that time, just randomly – I will “meet” him someday. And he will play a role in my life.

It came as a surprise coz I didn’t even know him yet something strange subtly awakened my head. I didn’t like him, so what was that fuss all about?

A few months had passed and I got to “penetrate” the world of those comedians. My friend and his co-finalists have been doing Open Mic Nights in various bars/restaurants around the Metro. The supportive friend in me, of course, remains. I’ve been religiously attending their comedy shows, more often than that pervert doctor. He just comes once in a while, if his schedule permits him to do so. Surprisingly, I became one of the boys – I got closer with the other guys, even nearly developing romantic involvement with a few. Anyway, who are you to blame me? I am just a romantically challenged woman who yearns for attention and love.. vulnerability at its finest. But nothing genuine comes out of it. I will always be one of the boys. We can never step up on a romantic level. Probably because I just seek attention – but never felt this crazy little thing toward any of them.

During one of the Open Mic nights, I saw the pervert doctor. He sat beside me but a friend of mine likes him so much that I ended up doing something to give them privacy to talk while I was talking to somebody else – another guy who’s part of the Comedy Group, and who, they said was attracted to me (that I cannot validate, though). The night was full of fun, we were minding our own business… from time to time teasing each other due to our dates’ silly stories and actions toward us. My point: we were never an item.

A few days later, I saw him again in one of the shows. I came late because I met up with a friend before going to that regular show in a bar in Quezon City. He was done with his set when I came in. Good thing, remember I didn’t like his jokes. The usual set up: I was with my friends and he was with his. When I passed by his table, he smiled and tried to open a conversation. I just smiled. I wasn’t in the mood and famished at the time. While I was having my dinner I saw in my peripheral vision that he was coming my way, or was it just a delusion when in fact I think he was about to use the restroom then. Haha! :D He sat beside me while I went on with eating. I didn’t mind him, I told you I was starving. He began to tease me about my so-called “fans” including a lesbian in the group who was trying to get intimate with me. I so hate that pervert doctor for interrogating me as if we are friends. I hate that he always speaks green even when I say he’s kinda annoying and gross. He defended himself -- telling everything was just meant on stage. I entertained him, though. There was something in him that amused me – perhaps it was his being real. Something I haven’t seen in guys who always put their best foot forward whenever they talk to a girl. It was then that he asked for my number.

It took him weeks before he finally sent me an SMS. Again, teasing me and asking questions about my “fans” and my exs. Something that came as a surprise to me – Once more, I asked myself “Why is he asking me questions like those? We are not friends. We’re not even close.”

The answer came so soon. It was the usual event that we both attended together with our respective groups. I don’t know if it’s just me or he was really interested in knowing me. I remember one time I was sitting and was looking at the door from time to time coz I was waiting for my friend.. he was sitting near the entrance. When my eyes met his, I smiled. But there’s something in me that says he must have been looking at me even before I looked at his direction. Woman’s instinct, perhaps. Then our friends left, making us the remaining guests in that place. I felt so strange that GB (my friend) left me coz he never did that, not even once. The pervert and I had a lot of stories to tell each other.. little by little I felt comfortable. I began to let go of my refusal emotion toward him. When it was time to leave, I couldn’t remember how we went out.. I was just surprised to see his hand holding mine. We were walking en route to the parking lot while our hands were holding and swaying. I know it sounds quick but I couldn’t fight with my mind anymore, this is it.. I felt the leap of my heart. I can never be wrong again. It was the longest drive I had from Quezon City to Pasig. Probably because he didn’t want to let go of me yet.

Until that one last grasp of my hand.

Until that one stolen quick sweet kiss.

Until the dawn breaks….

Until now that we’re starting to sing beautiful songs together. And making wonderful memories together…

Until such time when I finally give in – 101%.

For now, I am just enjoying everything. Every little effort that he exerts. Every little proof that he's a real gentleman. Every little sweet nothing that he utters. Every little story that we share.. and every genuine smile that he plants on my face. Every little thing matters to me now. And everything just brings me to euphoria.

I remember what I told my good friend Nheng just a day before I “met” the pervert doctor (that sweet moment), "Alam mo give up na ako, parang hindi ko na makita ang sarili ko na may boyfriend. Sanay na akong mag-isa, na sarili ko lang ang iniisip at iniintindi ko at wala ng iba pa."

See, LOVE hits you when you least expect it. :)


A few days ago, I got my very first Christmas gift for this year. It was simple yet meaningful; inexpensive yet priceless.. it's a Christmas card from my sponsored kid in World Vision.

And I quote:
Dear sponsor,

Maligayang pagbati po sa inyong sana maunawain ninyo ang sulat ko wag p kayong mag alala hidi ko kayo malilimutan sa tolong ibinigay niyo sa aming mga bata. Sana marami pa kayong matulungan na bata. Ipinapanalangin ko po na bigyan ka pa nang maraming biyaya para patuloy kang magsuporta sa amin maraming salamat po maligayang pasko at manigong Bagong Taon.

**** ****** **********

Ain't that sweet? :)

Well, you can never go wrong with personalized Christmas greetings. :)

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