A WORTHWHILE ESCAPE

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You may call it a diversion, but I know I did something meaningful.

Whenever I find myself shattered and miserable, I always think of the people who feel much pain and encounter problems yet striving to live.

I am so blessed that I can endure torment.

It's not everyday that we are given the chance to share our love and care for people in need.

So smile. Life is beautiful.

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Photo taken at Gawad Kalinga Tatalon


THE IRONY OF LIFE

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There are two ways on how to deal with pain: play against it with valor, or walk away.

I am doing the first one. I know my dreams are shattered. My heart is bruised. My ego is wrecked. My self esteem's gone astray. But I am wanting more. I am still waiting for those missing lines of my love story, which he or she could provide for me. They would complete the puzzle that I've been trying to put together in order for me to understand a lot of things. Even if it means unity of paths with the other one who caused all your pain, the one who made you drowning into uncertainty. I know it would hurt. It would smash up my heart a million times.

It would never make a difference. I am not chasing nor trying to win him back. But still, I need it. It would amass all the reasons why I should learn to forgive and let go. I will utilize everything in order for me to be a better person, to be perfect for the right one. In the future.

I hope someday I'll find a place for forgiveness in my heart. In time.

UNWRYL

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I'm in pain. This, by far, is the biggest heartache of my life.

I've been trying to save myself for someone whom I would share my forever with. But I was concealed. I fought hard. I've been through a lot of battles because of him. I was blinded by the fact that he loved me and cared for me. But I was wrong. Everything felt so wrong.

Che's right: sometimes a perfect view isn't really that good. Because our blind spots can protect us. And so here I am.. my eyes are open now. I'm waiting for a new chapter in my life. I want to see clearly. I need to see the sunshine that the rain has always taken from me. I've learned my lessons very well.

But now I am afraid... that maybe, the next time that I fall in love I would forget everything about myself.. all over again.. I am scared.

Maybe in time I can forgive. It's just a matter of acceptance. I know God has better plans for me.. far better than what I have imagined for myself.. much heaven than everything that I've been through just to keep the relationship work.. something that I regret. But I know there is no room for regrets. Only lessons learned.

I am strong enough. And I promise to myself.. I will fight hard.. to never get hurt again.

TWISTED SUNSHINE GONE DISTORTED MIND

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Pain has been my colleague for quite some time.

And now it is beginning to be my boss.

It always hangs on my sleeves nowadays.

Yesterday it applied for a post in my heart.

A regular employment. No end of contract.

Only an option to leave when the time comes that it would find an employer in need.

Looking forward to the day that it shall resign.

And i hope my heart won't make a counter offer.

My heart will let it go. With a smile.


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