IT’S ALL BEHIND US NOW

Two days ago before I went to sleep, my mom handed me her phone saying I have a text message coming from a certain "---" (she is currently using my old phone number). I wasn't wrong when I thought that it was ------, my ex-boyfriend. We exchanged messages and stories before I fell asleep. It was amazing because I am not used to hearing "sensible" and "mature" stories from him coz I knew him as a person who can be pleased with any nonsense thing. He was so immature before. He was contented with everything that we had. He can be ecstatic just by eating a bar of chocolate or a bag of candies. But now, it seems that he has grown a lot. And I am happy for him. Of course, now that he's getting into fatherhood, he's supposed to learn a lot already. From being merely responsible, to being a family man.

He told me he wanted to see me. That he wanted to get in touch with me again after more than two years of not talking to each other and seeing each other. That maybe it would be the last time that we can see each other. He wanted me to visit him and his family in his home in the province but the weather did not permit me to (I just came from a few days of sickness as well). It was his only day of freedom. The only time left for him to chat with me. But I guess all things connived for our meet up not to take place. Or maybe God did not want us to.

I believe it's already a sign. This is the conclusion of a wonderful story that we created. I thank him for all the memories that we shared. And I will love him forever, even if we did not succeed.

REMAINING OPEN TO LOVE

..an excerpt from "Like the Flowing River" by Paulo Coelho

A rose dreamed day and night about bees, but no bee ever landed on her petals. The flower, however, continued to dream. During the lost nights, she imagined a heaven full of bees, which flew down to bestow fond kisses on her. By doing this, she was able to last until the next day, when she opened again to the light of the sun. One night, the moon, who knew of the rose's loneliness, asked: 'Aren't you tired of waiting?' 'Possibly, but I have to keep trying.' 'Why?' 'Because if I don't remain open, I will simply fade away.' At times, when loneliness seems to crush all beauty, the only way to resist is to remain open.

FROM SLIPPERS TO SHOES TO BAREFOOT

I used to believe that comfort means happiness

That happiness comes from getting what you need in life

And so I bought a pair of slippers for my bare feet

Those slippers made me feel relaxed

They kept me protected all throughout my past journeys

With each step I made, they were there to guide my feet

They fought with every rough road I stepped on

Yes, I was at ease and sheltered

But where was my happiness?

Time passed by and my needs have changed

That pair of slippers got exhausted

Comfort didn't mean happiness at all

I started to crave for something different

Something special I guess

I yearned for a nice pair of shoes

Those pieces which are vigorous and versatile enough to take care of my feet

Those which won't be worn out at all times

Those that can protect my feet in all seasons

So I left my old pair of slippers

But I just put them in my storage box

Coz my heart refused to let them go

Yet my mind told me to do

So I bought a brand new pair of shoes

Then finally I gave my old slippers their time for themselves

Away from my feet which only caused them to be depleted...

But now, after a few years, the shoes I bought are already out of fashion...

Got to find something new for this new season...

But to no avail...

I’m still craving for my old fashioned pair of shoes...